Prevent Facebook Drama During a Breakup

Prevent Facebook Drama During a Breakup

The Internet has overhauled every aspect of modern life, from business to shopping to personal communication. It's also completely changed the way people, both young and old, create and dissolve intimate relationships.

When the latter occurs, and personal heartbreak goes public on Facebook, things can turn ugly in a hurry. Private grievances suddenly appear posted to public profiles, mutual online friends are abruptly excommunicated, and virtual salt is rubbed into very real wounds.

Distraught exes do and say things on Facebook that they'd never do or say face to face. They slander and lie, try to elicit jealousy, or seek revenge in a multitude of other ways. Passionate online poems turn into passive-aggressive pandering for the affection of mutual friends.

You might immediately change your relationship status to single and then begin posting photos of yourself laughing and holding hands with another person. Simultaneously, you're waiting and hoping for signs of loneliness on your ex's wall.

The ultimate results of these efforts often backfire. Worse, they simply spread ill will among a large social network and may create even more hard feelings, making it more difficult for everyone to move on with their lives.

In other words, Facebook can quickly turn private relationships into very public and very messy dramas that reflect poorly on both parties. But it doesn't have to end this way.

After you break up with someone you've spent a lot of time with, you can't help wondering what they're up to. Thanks to the power of Facebook, you may still be able to follow many of your ex-partner's activities.

If you're trying to remain friendly with each other, perhaps you'll remain friends on Facebook, meaning you'll be able to view revealing wall posts and comments. And even if you unfriend each other, you may very well be able to keep a running narrative of your ex's social life by reading comments and posts by your mutual friends.

Trying to piece together what your ex does each day and tracking his or her whereabouts is tantamount to online stalking. You might use these clues to construct plots of revenge or reconciliation. Or you might use the photos of your old boyfriend kissing his new squeeze to torture yourself emotionally.

Regardless of how you use the information you gather from your surveillance, understand that stalking is a compulsive, unsatisfying behavior. As a result, it may leave you feeling emptier than the breakup did or drive you to do things you wouldn't normally do.

Instead of stalking your ex, use your emotional energy to reconnect with other friends. Find new hobbies and interests. Tell a close friend that you're having a hard time not cruising your ex's wall and profile, and ask them for the emotional support you need to stop this self-flagellating behavior.

A significant percentage of relationships end with bad blood and anger. To avoid drama on Facebook, instead of seeking vengeance, use your excess emotional energy to focus on your steadfast friends. In this regard, Facebook's privacy settings are extremely helpful.

You may want to begin by blocking your ex and some of your mutual friends. When you block another user, it means you'll remove that person from your list of friends and your profile becomes invisible to him or her. In turn, that person's profile will become invisible to you.

The simplest way to block someone is to visit his or her profile and click Report/Block This Person at the bottom of the page. When you're done, you're immune to pokes, messages, and wall posts from the blocked person. There's one exception -- if a mutual friend posts content to Facebook, you'll both be able to see each others' comments. In the event that you're trying to sever all contact with a person, that's a loophole worth remembering.

Facebook's customize privacy settings also let you control the information you share with others. With just a few seconds of tweaking, you can create custom settings that let only your friends see your status, photos, tagged photos of you and relationship information.